our office sits along a long corridor of other offices. being part of a rather new office building, we get many door-to-door salesmen selling b2b products- printer cartridges, filtered water, printing services, office connections, company insurance, even cleaning services.
these random people beep our doorbell, and around the office there will be "are we expecting someone" glances exchanged because we frequently get people coming in for interviews/meetings. and then the whole office goes quiet when someone is at the door, listening in on silly conversations that take place between the person who responds to the doorbell, half-guessing what kinda products they are selling. most of the time we just mention that the person-in-charge is not around. there was an epic time, while having our weekly monday meeting, that the doorbell rang twice within 30 minutes. upon the second beep, there were instantaneous "HAIYAH!", tsks and sounds of irritation expressed, to which gathered a "i pressed on the wrong doorbell" response. the most unfriendly office in the block. haha.
since then, i've realised that the best way of dealing with these salesmen is not to express irritation (of which, wouldn't be very nice, adding on to their many rude door-to-door experiences), or to act really friendly (wasting my time and theirs too), but to
*example:
*true story
ok. not very funny. but one of our several sources of amusement in ulu ubi.
these random people beep our doorbell, and around the office there will be "are we expecting someone" glances exchanged because we frequently get people coming in for interviews/meetings. and then the whole office goes quiet when someone is at the door, listening in on silly conversations that take place between the person who responds to the doorbell, half-guessing what kinda products they are selling. most of the time we just mention that the person-in-charge is not around. there was an epic time, while having our weekly monday meeting, that the doorbell rang twice within 30 minutes. upon the second beep, there were instantaneous "HAIYAH!", tsks and sounds of irritation expressed, to which gathered a "i pressed on the wrong doorbell" response. the most unfriendly office in the block. haha.
since then, i've realised that the best way of dealing with these salesmen is not to express irritation (of which, wouldn't be very nice, adding on to their many rude door-to-door experiences), or to act really friendly (wasting my time and theirs too), but to
1) pretend to be really stupid and ignorantat which ever point would garner enough frustration from opposite party to not want to converse with you because they are so tired anyway, and ease them into a comparatively gradual pathway of rejection.
2) go out of point
3) pretend that you're just an office minion
*example:
ding dong!
(walk over to the door hugging a pillow/blanket draped over your shoulders, as if you just woke up from a nap.)
2 salesmen: hello! hello! can i have abit of your time? (cue huge cheesy scientology grins)
you: harloww!!! orh okay, sure!!!
salesman A: we are from a company that deals with talent retention. just wondering whether i could speak to your HR in-charge?
you: oh unfortunately i don't think she's around (shifty eye, because your HR in-charge is right at the desk sms-ing)
salesmen A: (with salesman B smiling creepily beside) oh! it's ok! may i know whether your company has any policies to retain its talents?
you: (eyes brighten, perk up now) oh yes we do! we hold sports days regularly, and we have sandwich days every fortnightly. not only that, we hang out and spend alot of time together, and we are just like a small, cosy, happy family. (grin happily, and hug pillow tighter)
both salesmen give each other the wtheck expression.
salesman B: uh interesting. uh what i meant was, do you know whether your company has any insurance, for example, staff or medical benefits?
you: oh, oh! that was what you meant! (laughs heartily) hahaha. but i think we have! i think we bought the one in which, in the event that i die, my company would be compensated for their loss in potential revenue.
salesman B: (at this point, realising that it is abit pointless to carry on the conversation) oh. hur. may i know whether there is any one that i could speak to in your company regarding talent retention schemes?
you: oh! sure! haha, here you go (grabs an old name card, in which the particulars are handwritten). you can speak to big boss. :p bye!
*true story
ok. not very funny. but one of our several sources of amusement in ulu ubi.
No comments:
Post a Comment