And yes, last week had felt like forever.
I wanted to cry at some points. Picking up calls from my mum at 2 am enquiring why I was not back at home yet. I had snapped "Ask my boss." Ugh. Conducting focus groups on the value of their work - someone shared "My first job was at a market research firm and I did not find meaning in it at all. I had to work till midnight with deadlines at 8 am in the morning.. I quit after 3 months." My colleague and I shot each other pitiful looks.
Sounds familiar eh?
Moderating focus groups has always been my nervy spot. I guess I haven't gotten good enough to enjoy the whole process. Coupled with the fact that 3 weeks out of the past 1.5 months had been spent on hours after work in the moderation room. I'm truly glad that it is over,
for now.
And once I'm done with the crazy reporting period (This thursday!), I would like to take some leave, wind down, go for a massage, spend a day with myself, and do cathartic things that actually refresh me - reading, pilates, worshipping God and spending time with Him, sewing and painting, singing or something. Without the unnecessary stress doing damage to my kidneys and stomach. I feel my kidneys literally hurting for some reason, and my stomach has been protesting with the infrequent meals.
Well, I guess I'm rather satisfied with the fact that I do alot of things well. But if I had a choice, I'd rather be really super duper duper genius at something (that happens to be sellable too of course). I'm more inclined to think of things in the arts, but I guess that has always been my inclination anyway. Like play an instrument really well, or sing super super well or something. Then my path in life would have been obvious. Now as it is, I'm floundering - I do okay well at quite alot of things - always floundering in between interests. And since I don't make no dough out of my arts-related interest, I end up going into an academic interest in numbers/ trends/ human behaviour. Which I am alright at, but not particularly good at. Plus, it takes away a huge chunk of my energy! It does nothing to refresh my soul, or to renew my spirit. Ah, this bothers me so much. :(
Let me divert such heavy thoughts to a freer day after the heavy workload.
-----
On a happier note, I've created an Instagram account just for the sole purpose of sharing my crafts! I realised that I have not taken many pictures of the crafts over the years, but I managed to dig some out, and Instagram's a perfect place to share all of these.
I don't remember where it all started, but from what I can remember, I've always loved how things worked and fixing things. I was intrigued by toys that actually served a real purpose, and did things like mend correction tapes in bulk when they first introduced correction tapes. While it confounded many a primary school kid, the mechanism came easy for me. On top of that, whenever I saw things that were put together, like flowers bouquets and crafts and simple furniture, I always see it as something that could simply be picked up or learnt in a matter of hours.
For that I absolutely adored it when they first introduced sewing during home econs in lower sec. I first went about mending my classmates' bobbins and sewing mess. I visited the sewing room, very often illegally, during recess by climbing through the window to finish up our sewing assignments (damn ugly cross stitch of a pot of flowers, sewn on a denim pouch). But since then it's been such a fun time experimenting with making pouches, bags, leather crafts, pvc wallets, ties, etc. And for the longest time, I've always loved buying cheap clothes that need just a bit of alteration, just cos I love adding that personal touch to what I own. And yes, I'm proud to say, it's all self-taught!
I also take birthdays, especially hy's, to be times that I'd actually find motivation to explore making something new. One extra reason to indulge in such craft projects - seeing his smiling face.
This just makes me so so happy. :)
