philippians 4:7

we are the light of the world. (Matthew 5:14)

but still, there are many kinds of churches in this world.

be it a sunday social club, one embroiled in civil conflict, one too comfortable to truly call themselves disciples of Christ, to the ones who do everything to condemn but fall short of loving, which essentially undermines Jesus’s 33 years on Earth.

i've been thinking.


what is a model of the church that can sustain a group of believers who come together, with no other purpose than to give our lives up for God? because the race is one that can only be run by long distance runners who train themselves up for it, and i believe that the church’s vision should be about growing believers strong in the Word and led by the Spirit.

and that itself, leads us to this-

sustainability of this vision lies in the relationship between the family and the church.

1. the church builds a strong foundation of disciples who understand God’s purpose, and are led into obeying Him for His purposes.
2. a family centered in God, one with a single purpose to put God above all else – differences in personalities, petty conflicts, or even other seemingly purposeful pursuits but not within what He has called them out to do.
3. parents assume responsibility of discipling their children (and not fling this responsibility to the church, because our core responsibility as Christ followers is to support the church. not the other way around.)
4. in doing so, they serve together, and differences and other little problems are either handled by God, or pale in comparison when juxtoposed with the great work that they’ve been called out to do.
5. children, in receiving that Christ-centered love from parents, and knowing their priorities, grow in faith, receive the responsibility of discipling others in the church.
6. the church forms a self-sustaining model, where we build up strong families and strong disciples of Christ.

i know this, because i know the struggle i have right now, between serving more, but yet knowing that i also want to do so much more in my family by spending more time with them, to bring them to Christ. honestly, i know that i could better trust God with this aspect, by surrendering fully to His purpose, and knowing that the salvation in which He has promised will come. after all, He granted me my sister's salvation at the time where prayer seemed meaningless, renewed my strength in Him through this whole process.

but yet, there is always a nagging desire to want my entire family saved.

i so, so want my family to experience that love of God, to grow together in love, God's love. something i read a couple of days back, about the toughest mission field. this particularly stood out to me:

I loved my friends and family, but I didn't like the way my old self seemed to re-emerge when I was around them.

(so true.
 there are spiritual bondages that need to be broken.)

how i yearn for this familial support in being God’s ministers.

and i will continue to pray fervently for the salvation of my loved ones.

and i know now, the kind of family that i want to build up in the future.

a one that Francis and Lisa Chan speaks of.

"being focused on the mission is actually what brings your family together.
otherwise it's like saying: i really wanna get into shape so i can go jogging.
actually if you just jog, you will get into shape."

i realise, the only way for a breakthrough is to pray. 
pray up a storm, even when i don't want to.
healing, healing, healing in Your power,

because i am starting to see again.

truly thanking God for my dearest sister.