just came back from a weekend in melaka. it's been good; i've missed gong gong and po po, and the little kids are now matching up to me in height. it's scary how little humans grow.
and when you're no longer little, you start to wonder about not being little, and aging.
other than much work excitement preparing for launch next week, i was hit with news on thursday night, that dearest uncle tan had unexpectedly passed away.
my first reaction was. why, God, oh dear.
our LG first met this jovial grandfather back in august during national day celebrations, together with a congregation of uncles who lived around kampong glam, and whom we got to know during Project Sparkle. since then, it's been an amazing journey for our LG as we take turns to serve by accompanying the uncles for chinese service on sundays.
uncle tan, whom claramae goes to his home every sunday morning to wheel him for service.
uncle fang, who sets off from his home at 9am and makes that arduous 45min walk from his home just across the street, to textile on his walking stick.
uncle maofa, who fetches little jinbao and drops him off at hope kids before joining us.
not that i've ever given much, but i've always received so much more than that 'sacrifice' of my time at chinese service. it's amazing watching the older folks worship, it's amazing talking to the pastors and learning about their convictions, and it's amazing, the amount of warmth and support received from them as we as members of Hope Church continue to reach out to children of God who belong to the different congregations. you really get to experience this whole new dimension of God's amazing love.
so, back to uncle tan. it's so heartening how he shares, without abandon, his experiences back in the days. having grown up in a privileged background, he was agnostic, perhaps bordering on atheism. he was a strong character, only choosing to believe in himself. having lived around kampong glam his whole life, he did business as a textile merchant, and over the years, lost his fortune, lost contact with his family. from his sharing, there were many things in life he regretted, though he never really specifically mentioned what they were.
just 2 weeks back as we had lunch together, i remembered jiadai, serene and i around the table (while little jinbao ran about sporadically) asking him about what he thought of Christ thus far, and whether he was ready to accept Christ. he told us that he had changed his views so much over the months. from someone who looked upon the 三姑六婆 he came into contact with much disdain, and believed that he was the only one in the world whom he could depend on, it's already a huge step that he has taken to go to church, and that he needed more time.
he told us that he really liked the values that the church preached.
i honestly believed there was more than just values that moved him.
more than anything, he shared, he was so moved and touched by the love and care that we've showered him these past few months. jiadai told him that it was one thing to receive second hand love from God, but it was another to receive His love directly from the source, and that we were asking him this, because our time on earth is short, and this was the least that we could do- to share God's love and joy with him.
when thursday came about, i couldn't believe my ears. God, did you want me to see Your love in this servitude, only to stumble me by cruelly taking away the uncle whom we were this close to bringing to heaven? but no matter, i remembered something that i shared a while back, that God, our Father moves in wondrous ways. and for that, i earnestly believed that uncle tan had already chose to accept God into His life the moment he accepted the love we had poured upon him in his last months. i just knew it in my heart, and prayed for that faith of belief.
friday noon, i dropped by his wake with jacq and wenda.
above his coffin, was a cross.
i nearly burst into tears when i saw it.
his daughter and daughter-in-law were around, and we got a chance to know more about the events that preceded his passing.
it had only been recently that his children reconnected with him after 30 years. all this while, it had been just uncle tan on his own. his son and daughter-in-law a, a catholic, got to know about him attending church from one of the sisters during our visits at the hospital, and decided to bring a priest to 'anoint' him (to prepare him to receive God).
but more amazingly, was that we got a chance to share with his family about uncle tan. his daughter was ever so curious and eager to find out how his father had been all these years. i will never know what happened between their family, but i believe God wanted us to set a peace in their hearts about the dad they never got to know much of, as we shared about how uncle tan encouraged us in his own ways. it's so so amazing on hindsight, to put the pieces together and see how God had planned out his path for uncle tan to receive Him into his life. wow.
it was amazing how we managed to pray with his daughter (who doesn't know the lord yet) and his daughter-in-law for uncle tan and his family.
over the last 3 days, members from youth, kids, YG and the chinese service visited uncle tan's wake. even the pastors from the chinese service came down to visit, and managed to share the gospel! i got to learn about little snippets of God's goodness, that uncle tan had even shared the gospel with his sister, about how uncle tan's son was floored and intrigued by how the various congregations of the church came together as God's people (and now as i'm typing i'm crying tears of joy), and thought about paying us a visit one day. we see the crazy effects of how God's crazy love overflows into other people's lives when we do His work, and it's amazing. i just remember last saturday's sermon about the importance of the church as a family. it touches my heart deeply, whenever i see people of God, all ages and different life stations, come together to do His work. always love the heart conviction after the mind convicts.
now this is the kind of life transformation that i am talking about.
God, you are too amazing, too awesome, and you orchestrate the most amazing love stories!
**
so i got to spend time with the grandparents whom i dearly love. i clip popo's nails, and help her bathe and dress, and it breaks my heart that she doesn't know Jesus yet. she keeps asking me the same old questions- what am i doing now, when is jie coming to visit, what are we doing tonight, as Alzheimer's gets the better of her. i watched my littlest aunt (who has down syndrome) hug popo, stroke her white hair and kiss her on the head and say i love you in the most dearest fashion, and i know that this is what love is.
what is it like to age? how confusing it must be to be in popo's shoes, to be around things that she has no recollection of. i'm convicted to do something more than just paying them the mandatory visit once or twice a year. but now, this is my constant prayer, to bring my family to know God.
because i know that papa, mummy, my brothers, gong gong, po po- they could be so much more yielded with that peace from the Lord.
because over the weeks, i've realised that the mission of a family- what Christ has called us out to do, is to be that strength and that city on the hill when we serve God together.
and it is the duty of my sister and i, to labour in prayer to bring them to know Jesus.
beginning to see even more facets of His goodness, and i'm absolutely floored.
2 pictures to end off:
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| this is why i love melaka. good food in almost every corner. |
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| even more awesome when it's just sitting next to gong gong, who passes me every single dish to try, stuffing me with awesome food, because this is dimsum that he grew up with. :) |
so many things that God is speaking into my life right now, and i know it is my deepest desire, to remain pure before Him. Jesus, convict me further, because my life is all Yours.
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