i've had struggles more real than people could ever imagine. things that i'm afraid to put out in the raw, even with people whom i'm really close to. jie would probably be the one best person in my life who knows me deep down within, my inner struggles and dilemmas that span more than 6 feet under, that sometimes when she puts them all across to me just because she's the most honest person in the world, it puts me at a position where i'm forced to rethink them, and address them. and just because i've never been the sort to be really truly honest about things that aren't nicely sugar coated, i think she's someone who really challenges me to grow. because what i've truly realised over the past few months is the importance of being completely raw and honest with God. no sugar coating during prayer; it is an utter surrender to Him as my all- those strange thoughts that i cannot recognise myself sometimes, the negative thoughts that fleet through my mind that disgust me, emotions- anger, jealousy, lust, gluttony.. you name it. and i can know for one thing, that God will provide me answers to grow to me more Christ-like, as long as i always fall back on Him.
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