The Proposal

i've been feeling alot of disconnect these past few years between thoughts and my obsessive need to document them. i've kept journals since young, and a blog since sec 2. no luxury like that of a student's to sit down and document my days. something cathartic about closing chapters, reopening new ones with the flick of the pen/ patter of the keyboard. almost like a form of therapy for order in life. to be honest, i wished that i had blogged more about my relationship with God, the struggles i go through, and my relationship with han yang. hence, i resolve to blog more.

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the past 2 weeks saw me bent over the computer, holed up preparing a report. but now that i've got that (including the presentation) done, i'm free to breathe once again. this job stretches me everyday. in a exercise=sore muscle type of way. i guess it is pain, but i'm loving the challenge.

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so my mind flickers to topics that i've been meaning to blog about the wedding, and then it throws me back to the realisation that i've yet to blog about the proposal. so here goes, what i remember of it:

han yang and i had been talking about getting married, but like how procrastinators function, we talked about it, but never got down to the next step. i guess i was waiting for him to act upon it, but i also knew that this boy is the kind who plans my birthday in the morning of said day. so i told him i didn't mind that we set the wedding date before the proposal happened.

i know alot of people frown upon setting a date and booking venues before the proposal, but i didn't really mind, since i knew we were both committed. of course i did feel abit affected when people kept commenting that the right way should be that the guy proposed before we started on anything so that the guy wouldn't harbour the idea that the proposal would be a definite 'yes', or that this was making things too easy for him, or that the surprise factor was gone. after thinking things through i thought that logic didn't make sense because the girl could still say no regardless of the order. also, that planning for a proposal was a challenge anyway since there were so many expectations to live up to. the surprise factor would still be there since i didn't know where and when and how he was going to do it. these were just a few of the many conventional viewpoints that i realised many people tried to push me during the process of wedding planning. i get that they thought the best for me, but i realised that i should really think it through if it really made sense. some did, and some didn't. i chose to pick only the ones that made sense for my context. following this guideline made me a happier bride.

so we set the day for 3rd sep. since i knew he was going to have a hard time picking the ring by himself, i volunteered to do it with him. i wanted to cut down the whole process of him having to go through my sister or close friends regarding my preferences, since he was also extremely busy at work, and had alot of things going on in his personal life.

we customised the ring and it took awhile to be done.

and i waited.

1 month passed.

2 months. people asked me when he was proposing all the time. how was i supposed to know? i got a little impatient too.

3.5 months. this was january 2016. silence. i recalled a time he was trying to suss out the kind of proposal i wanted. i told him that it would be nice if we had personal time together, and also that i could celebrate it with my family and close friends. i figured that the coordination was probably too much of a trouble for him. with that, i told him that i was totally fine without the social element. little did i know, he was already planning it. he had been conceptualising it, but he took a grand total of 7 days to coordinate/put together this surprise with my family and friends.

one week before the proposal, he asked whether i would like to have dinner the following sunday, as he was flying off for work the following monday and wasn't going to be around. i started to suspect that he had something up his sleeve, as han yang never dates me one week in advance. he even suggested a dinner place a few days before. that rarely ever happens.

on the morning of that sunday, i happily went on a field trip to fort canning park. i was doing a learning journey as part 2 of 3 of my citizenship process. when i came home, my dad asked me - "hui xin, will you be leaving the house together later?" 

i was puzzled. 

"you know, the bbq that han yang invited us for.." 

my mind went "ah, it's happening today.."

i played along and told him i was leaving first.

knowing that it was gonna be some outdoor thing but that i still wanted to dress up for it, i decided against wearing heels but wore a cheongsam with sneakers, and sprayed on an overkill of perfume (i didn't realise it, but han yang told me afterward).

he came over at around 5pm and said that since we were early for dinner, that we could take a walk at fort canning. i couldn't believe that i was taking another walk at fort canning again, but decided to be compliant. in my mind i was trying to figure what he had in store. maybe he was going to bring me to a bbq pit set up in the middle of fort canning?!

on the way into the carpark at fort canning, i noticed zelanie, my good friend, driving in too. i pointed it out to him, and texted her to say hi. she said she was on her way to meet some people at SMU. i nearly believed her.

han yang took me for a walk in fort canning. 

after walking for 10 minutes, he sat me down on a musty-smelling bench.

he opened his tablet case and took out a scrapbook, and said "i've something for you.."

i was super excited!

it was a scrapbook of our journey as a couple, and it was super thoughtful. we slowly went through the pages, beginning from the time we met to when we got together. going through the moments made me laugh at our journey of slowly getting to know and understand each other. we had a really long and painful process of warming up to each other; we were such cautious people.

it was also sweet because he had been secretly taking photos of me in preparation for this scrapbook:

then, we went for a walk so he could bring me to a place

from a distance i saw some people standing around, looking at our direction in anticipation.

these lovely people!

han yang got down on one knee and suddenly became a super shy boy.

he asked 2 things - whether i could marry him, and whether he could marry me.

"remember how we talked about having a statement piece at home, and you said you would DIY it? i went ahead to get started on the first piece.." he gestured towards a random object near the picnic mat:

whoa, i was shocked. how long did he take to do this?

there were other sugar coated words, which i adored hearing. then came my answer.

of course i said yes!

it was a happy day. my parents were there too!

with my funny dad, who helped me to pre-empt the day's events.

popped the champagne, gave a speech!

had an enjoyable evening catching up with old friends :)

these beautiful girls whom i rarely see came! <3 i was so happy to see em.

my jelly fishes too!

my byrraju-ian girls <3

more girlfriends!

with the friends who saw it from the start! and weiwen :D

my lovely ex-lifegroup!

later on, i found out that han yang had spent quite some time at the carpenter in an ulu place in Sungei Kadut getting the drawer done. knowing that he really doesn't enjoy getting sweaty and doing handiwork, but still went ahead to source for the drawer knob and helped the carpenter to saw wood and knock stuff made me feel all fuzzy inside.

for the coordination of logistics and friends on that day, he got Raphael to help as the point of contact. he also did up this extremely comprehensive powerpoint with maps and photos to make sure that our friends/family could find our way in. such pristine planning!

and a photo with everyone, including han yang's sweet friends who helped in the setup :)