What being in CO for 15 years taught me

One of few liuqin concertos. Lovely. And I miss playing in an orchestra so much. As much as I love singing and it speaks to my soul, it is plain music of the heart when I listen to these nostalgic tunes. It goes deep. It is knowing how much effort goes into the interaction of musical notes from the different instruments, having gone through hours, days, weeks, even months perfecting a song, learning how vital each and every instrument is to the weaving of intricate sounds, growing up and breathing chinese music, the constant from primary school all the way up to Uni, that this is a part of me that nothing can take away.

Today, papa said "There is no fun in studying. There are some things in life that you just have to get into your head by pure effort and putting in the time to master. And in those times, it isn't fun at all." A few years ago, the idealistic me might have begged to differ, protesting loudly at the rigidity of old minds like his who had such a fixed way of what it meant to learn. Today, I nodded vehemently. A few years of roughing it out and I've finally realised- I know there are ways of learning that could make learning interesting and more "fun". But ultimately, when the rubber hits the road for real learning to take place, you just gotta put in your time and effort to internalise these things.

What has that gotta do with CO?

I look back on this part of my life with fondness now, but I know that practices were nowhere near "fun" back in the day. Of course, there was the company and slogging it away with the fellow peers who made practices so much better, but the gist of practices was: we practised, and practised, and practised. We could practise 10 bars of a song for 3 hours and not get it right, then get forced to play them individually so that the instructor knew who was the one dragging everyone down. We practised till our fingers split and bled. It was a true horror story of how we committed 3 - 5 days of 8 hour sessions every week during the school holidays when we could have just rested at home if it had been a slacker CCA. 

So why did we subject ourselves to this pure torture?

Because... for one, these split fingers- they healed. And callouses formed. That was a defining chapter for us. Hooray to callouses! We could finally practise without fear of our fingers splitting! 

Secondly, when the orchestra came together for combined, and after many many many practices of making instruments interact with each other for what we have practised during the sectionals, the music was heavenly. It was what we lived for. We memorised by heart, bits of pieces in the song that we loved, we even verbally sang our parts when we gathered for lunch. 

This is how I learnt about life. The Generation Y in me cries out in protest. I want things done fast and quick, I want to get somewhere high up there without trying too hard and getting hurt. I realise today, that my chapter with chinese music instilled an iron in me.

A revelation that I couldn't have come to, given my stubbornness, without God.

But he knows the way that I take; when he has tried me, I shall come out as gold.  

Job 23:10

Grow me, but stay close to me God, for I can't do this without You! :)