So the next phase of my life officially begins tomorrow after 8 months. I know, an 8-month break seems like a long spell by any standards, and especially so for someone like me who could never have passed a summer break without looking for a part time job or internship. But I'm extremely thankful for such a spell that allowed me to rest, spend time with the family and Han Yang, be a part of serving the church in singing and acting (that led to many breakthroughs), a brief stint with CNA doing historical research which rekindled my love for research and led me to apply for the job I'm about to start.
It has been amazing how things fell together and how God has blessed me with these opportunities that allowed me to reconnect to the things I love, especially after 2.5 years of working. I had almost forgotten how it felt like to spend hours poring over a good book or on a hobby. It feels good to be steeped in something to the point of forgetting everything else in that time. Reading, singing, sewing (I tried mending my broken sewing machine, hello to a new sewing machine soon!), drawing/designing with illustrator, wrapping flowers and videography (gonna be helping Serene with video for her wedding).
On top of that, I know that God had intended for me to be free so that I got the chance to be with Gong gong in his final months. The time spent taking care of him, praying, talking to him were tender moments shared between us that I will always keep close to my heart. He had contracted pneumonia over Chinese New Year, and I had really wanted him to get better. When I was back to visit, I saw how he was suffering from extended coughing episodes and it broke my heart so.
Hopeless and in despair, I pleaded with God for him to be well. In one of my prayers to him, a still small voice told me "Hui Xin, share with him about my Love and ask him to accept me first." I didn't want to believe that was true, but I knew Gong gong wasn't going to get any better. I have always wanted to ask him whether he wanted to accept Jesus, but I didn't know how, and I was so scared! In these few years, Gong gong and I had gotten closer. He knew I was a Christian and he was always open to sharing and prayer. But I never took the next step to ask him whether he believed in Jesus.
And right now, there was no way I would have the guts to share if God didn't prompt me to. I wrestled. I told God "Please give me a confirmation, and I will share." 5 minutes later, my phone beeped. It was from a friend whom I had just got to know the previous week, and she asked me about Gong gong. I said he wasn't doing well and was in the hospital. She said "I just thought I should ask you about grandpa and ask you to share about Christ with him." Ah, God speaks in so many ways. I was extremely comforted to know that God was with me.
It was the afternoon I was all alone in the ward with him. I shared, albeit rather incoherently. Gong gong shook his head rather vehemently when I asked him whether he wanted to accept Christ. Oh. But I knew God had told me to! I wasn't about to give up. The next day, he had gotten worse. I was with mama and jie, and I decided to pray for his coughing and wheezing to stop. I decided then, to share again. After that, I looked him in his eyes and asked "公公，您要不要接受神?" Gong gong looked at me, and NODDED HIS HEAD. I was shocked with joy. I couldn't believe it! I was so happy I shed tears. Gong gong was going to heaven, he was going to meet Jesus! We said a prayer for him. I was comforted that God was looking after him, because the night before I went to Malacca, I had dreamt that there were angels surrounding his bed.
The next day, Gong gong passed away peacefully. I cried because I was going to miss my cute Gong gong, but there was a deep joy in knowing that I would see him again soon.
I took a brief break during the 7 day wake to settle things back in Singapore, and received a call for an interview. A day after the wake, I went for the interview. In 3 days, they got back and offered me a job.
It took me a while to accept the offer as I had really wanted to work on policy/research/VWO development in the governmental social sector (they hadn't got back to me at all). But after much seeking God and talking to people, I realised that this job did fit a lot of my job expectations, and it would build up skill sets that I'm interested in developing. So, I accepted it.
I would still like to work in the social sector one day, but till then, it's up to me to stay well-read in this area, possibly take a look at social work course syllabus and do some self-learning. For now, I'm pretty sure I will be as pumped up doing market research.
*******
Other than personal things in my life, in the past week I was deeply grieved at the passing of Mr Lee to the extent that I never thought possible. I read many articles from various sources about this extremely intelligent man, his ideas and who he was as a person. I cried buckets at the realisation of the world's loss of a great man, but also felt immense honour to be a part of this era and country where he governed and loved. How much of his legacy will live on in generations to come? In the midst of concretising some thoughts and reading his memoirs.
Till then.
It has been amazing how things fell together and how God has blessed me with these opportunities that allowed me to reconnect to the things I love, especially after 2.5 years of working. I had almost forgotten how it felt like to spend hours poring over a good book or on a hobby. It feels good to be steeped in something to the point of forgetting everything else in that time. Reading, singing, sewing (I tried mending my broken sewing machine, hello to a new sewing machine soon!), drawing/designing with illustrator, wrapping flowers and videography (gonna be helping Serene with video for her wedding).
On top of that, I know that God had intended for me to be free so that I got the chance to be with Gong gong in his final months. The time spent taking care of him, praying, talking to him were tender moments shared between us that I will always keep close to my heart. He had contracted pneumonia over Chinese New Year, and I had really wanted him to get better. When I was back to visit, I saw how he was suffering from extended coughing episodes and it broke my heart so.
Hopeless and in despair, I pleaded with God for him to be well. In one of my prayers to him, a still small voice told me "Hui Xin, share with him about my Love and ask him to accept me first." I didn't want to believe that was true, but I knew Gong gong wasn't going to get any better. I have always wanted to ask him whether he wanted to accept Jesus, but I didn't know how, and I was so scared! In these few years, Gong gong and I had gotten closer. He knew I was a Christian and he was always open to sharing and prayer. But I never took the next step to ask him whether he believed in Jesus.
And right now, there was no way I would have the guts to share if God didn't prompt me to. I wrestled. I told God "Please give me a confirmation, and I will share." 5 minutes later, my phone beeped. It was from a friend whom I had just got to know the previous week, and she asked me about Gong gong. I said he wasn't doing well and was in the hospital. She said "I just thought I should ask you about grandpa and ask you to share about Christ with him." Ah, God speaks in so many ways. I was extremely comforted to know that God was with me.
It was the afternoon I was all alone in the ward with him. I shared, albeit rather incoherently. Gong gong shook his head rather vehemently when I asked him whether he wanted to accept Christ. Oh. But I knew God had told me to! I wasn't about to give up. The next day, he had gotten worse. I was with mama and jie, and I decided to pray for his coughing and wheezing to stop. I decided then, to share again. After that, I looked him in his eyes and asked "公公，您要不要接受神?" Gong gong looked at me, and NODDED HIS HEAD. I was shocked with joy. I couldn't believe it! I was so happy I shed tears. Gong gong was going to heaven, he was going to meet Jesus! We said a prayer for him. I was comforted that God was looking after him, because the night before I went to Malacca, I had dreamt that there were angels surrounding his bed.
The next day, Gong gong passed away peacefully. I cried because I was going to miss my cute Gong gong, but there was a deep joy in knowing that I would see him again soon.
I took a brief break during the 7 day wake to settle things back in Singapore, and received a call for an interview. A day after the wake, I went for the interview. In 3 days, they got back and offered me a job.
It took me a while to accept the offer as I had really wanted to work on policy/research/VWO development in the governmental social sector (they hadn't got back to me at all). But after much seeking God and talking to people, I realised that this job did fit a lot of my job expectations, and it would build up skill sets that I'm interested in developing. So, I accepted it.
I would still like to work in the social sector one day, but till then, it's up to me to stay well-read in this area, possibly take a look at social work course syllabus and do some self-learning. For now, I'm pretty sure I will be as pumped up doing market research.
*******
Other than personal things in my life, in the past week I was deeply grieved at the passing of Mr Lee to the extent that I never thought possible. I read many articles from various sources about this extremely intelligent man, his ideas and who he was as a person. I cried buckets at the realisation of the world's loss of a great man, but also felt immense honour to be a part of this era and country where he governed and loved. How much of his legacy will live on in generations to come? In the midst of concretising some thoughts and reading his memoirs.
Till then.
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| Fraction of my hobbies. |
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