My last dated entry (28 September) till now, it's been almost 2 months. I'm at lost as to where to start. The gist of it, probably the eventful ones that sparked off some sort of spiritual hunger/re-evaluation/prayer within me.
1) STM happened
2) Han Yang left for overseas for a month
3) Busy period/loads of major refocusing at work
4) Gong gong got hospitalised for a pretty major operation
I think when you squish all 4 events together it is a pretty major disruption to my life, cos it constitutes just about all aspects of my life- ministry, love, work and family. (Haha, okay am glad friends remained the constant, not that we met up often these 2 months!)
1) STM: Ended up in Suzhou. Definitely a trip that I saw God's hand at and saw His love for the people of China. It's just amazing being part of the experience of Paul's prayer for the Ephesians. At the same time, a personal transformation within me as I reflect, on hindsight, how God has grown my heart to realise the importance of the Great Commission and how I really want to be a part of it as well. Have decided to share this all in prose.
2) Absence: I think the STM trip was definitely a great way that HY and I got to understand more of one another (perspectives about doing missions, how we serve, the way we work through disagreements and misunderstandings.) And then of course, the one month apart which I felt was a good time to re-evaluate things between us. (Though, I do think that other than being physically apart and thus having a new physical space was good for him to pluck himself out of the busyness to think more/experience more of God, that we still continued doing our weekly catchups and all which was nice. So it wasn't really so much of less facetime that fueled these new insights but a different physical space. New perspectives are yey!) But, yes, I really did kinda miss seeing his funny face weekly. Haha.
3) Work: Crazy month of training (which made me stop to think whether I can persist with such a lifestyle, and it wasn't even half of how much Jo probably feels heading most of the programmes.) But aye, when something fuels and energises you mentally, but yet drains you physically, what does one do? Anyway, refocusing the business to technology next year. I'm in the midst of praying through this one.
4) Gong gong: His health hasn't been tiptop of late, which sent family into a frenzy. I'm pretty emotionally attached to gong gong, went back 2 times to visit him. Both trips left me emotionally exhausted, cried loads of tears while praying for him. Spent 2 nights at the hospital and I think we grew closer through that experience, of just sitting beside him, talking, moving him into comfortable positions on bed up, turning him once every 2 hours, feeding him water every hour, calling on the nurse whenever something beeped (and my mom is indeed a superwoman cus she has been taking care of him for the past month). I'm well aware that God's been nudging me to share the gospel with him (even to the extent of preparing me linguistically by plonking me in Suzhou for 5 days), and there have been opportunities where we talk about grandma, the fragility of life and his worries where I know this is where I should come in with a Bible verse, or begin to explain who Jesus is, but I just don't know how to start. urh. I guess I'm grateful that he allows me to pray for him (he teared when I last prayed for him, I know God is doing something in his heart.). Small steps but I gotta be less fearful!
Have decided, in this month leading up to Christmas, to do a fast and extended time of prayer for these 4 aspects (That, and friends too). Wanna hear more from him, ultimately as I realise more and more how everything fits into the bigger picture of pleasing and glorifying Him.
(Check out this space more often, I want to share more about this period of fast and extended prayer too.)
1) STM happened
2) Han Yang left for overseas for a month
3) Busy period/loads of major refocusing at work
4) Gong gong got hospitalised for a pretty major operation
I think when you squish all 4 events together it is a pretty major disruption to my life, cos it constitutes just about all aspects of my life- ministry, love, work and family. (Haha, okay am glad friends remained the constant, not that we met up often these 2 months!)
1) STM: Ended up in Suzhou. Definitely a trip that I saw God's hand at and saw His love for the people of China. It's just amazing being part of the experience of Paul's prayer for the Ephesians. At the same time, a personal transformation within me as I reflect, on hindsight, how God has grown my heart to realise the importance of the Great Commission and how I really want to be a part of it as well. Have decided to share this all in prose.
2) Absence: I think the STM trip was definitely a great way that HY and I got to understand more of one another (perspectives about doing missions, how we serve, the way we work through disagreements and misunderstandings.) And then of course, the one month apart which I felt was a good time to re-evaluate things between us. (Though, I do think that other than being physically apart and thus having a new physical space was good for him to pluck himself out of the busyness to think more/experience more of God, that we still continued doing our weekly catchups and all which was nice. So it wasn't really so much of less facetime that fueled these new insights but a different physical space. New perspectives are yey!) But, yes, I really did kinda miss seeing his funny face weekly. Haha.
3) Work: Crazy month of training (which made me stop to think whether I can persist with such a lifestyle, and it wasn't even half of how much Jo probably feels heading most of the programmes.) But aye, when something fuels and energises you mentally, but yet drains you physically, what does one do? Anyway, refocusing the business to technology next year. I'm in the midst of praying through this one.
4) Gong gong: His health hasn't been tiptop of late, which sent family into a frenzy. I'm pretty emotionally attached to gong gong, went back 2 times to visit him. Both trips left me emotionally exhausted, cried loads of tears while praying for him. Spent 2 nights at the hospital and I think we grew closer through that experience, of just sitting beside him, talking, moving him into comfortable positions on bed up, turning him once every 2 hours, feeding him water every hour, calling on the nurse whenever something beeped (and my mom is indeed a superwoman cus she has been taking care of him for the past month). I'm well aware that God's been nudging me to share the gospel with him (even to the extent of preparing me linguistically by plonking me in Suzhou for 5 days), and there have been opportunities where we talk about grandma, the fragility of life and his worries where I know this is where I should come in with a Bible verse, or begin to explain who Jesus is, but I just don't know how to start. urh. I guess I'm grateful that he allows me to pray for him (he teared when I last prayed for him, I know God is doing something in his heart.). Small steps but I gotta be less fearful!
Have decided, in this month leading up to Christmas, to do a fast and extended time of prayer for these 4 aspects (That, and friends too). Wanna hear more from him, ultimately as I realise more and more how everything fits into the bigger picture of pleasing and glorifying Him.
(Check out this space more often, I want to share more about this period of fast and extended prayer too.)
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