windows of the soul

was away in some part of my parents' hometown for the past 4 days. it's times like these that make me remember the different people out there who lead different lives. well, we could lament about how much of a wanderer i am, never settled with life back in the comfort of my home, always yearning for adventures out of this world, something out there more than city life. yup i guess i'm just someone who needs that occasional travel to awaken that spirit in me. but i think i've established that i'm definitely not a long term traveller for love of all things comfortable.

2 nights ago, we were in KL at our maternal uncle's place, and somehow ended up talking about christians and God. what is it that draws people away from knowing Christ but the sins that they see Christ-followers indulge in, and in conclusion what is it that we as christ followers need to do but look within ourselves because we are the church and are looked upon as testimonies and examples of leading a Christ-like life.

with that, there is so much i need to be convicted about and act upon in this fallen world. there are many times i find myself falling short, so many times i realise that my actions are not exemplary of what it means to have God's love within me, so many times i see a non-Christ follower knowing more about Love, that it makes me ashamed really. so, like how we should never bemoan that speck of sawdust in another's eye and ignore the plank in our own eye (Matthew 7:3), we should never be self-righteous and think less of any one who disagrees (Moxy Früvous!), because that's where striving to love comes to a halt. when we think we have reached that perfection.

last night was the 7th day of chinese new year, and the front yard of po po and gong gong's house in malacca was where a grand feast was set up on makeshift tables to pray to the skies for a good year ahead. jie and i sat around keeping po po and gong gong company while they folded gold paper to be burnt. piles and piles of them while we watched po po, already weak from recent months of ill health (while my sister entertained us by being her usual ridiculous funny self and making all of us laugh). gong gong asked whether we could help, and we told them we couldn't. he asked, "religion?" as his fingers made a symbol of the cross. we looked at each other, then him, and asked in bewilderment

"公公，为设么你知道?"

"哈哈，看你的脸就知道！" he chuckled and we went on to talk about how he used to have sweaty palms.

po po told us "拜什么神都好，做好人是最重要。" of course, that's something that i beg to differ, but it suddenly made me think about how as it is, why is it that many good people die not knowing Christ?

urm, so many questions, no answers yet. well with everything, prayer does. and, new things to pray about for the family. as 3 Feb draws to a close and jie's departure beckons, i know that i need to continue being prayerful. we may span 8447 miles apart but no distance is ever too far with His love. and skype of course. hur.