1141 days

some peaks are worth the climb

while some, i'm not sure, even exist.

regardless. i've exhausted my physical and mental strength.

it's about time.

Cornerstone

Retiring my SRC name cards for ARM, and giving thanks for God's favour and grace these past 3 years at work. From 9 Tan Quee Lan St to 1 King George's Avenue, there were definitely back breaking and soul crushing moments; challenging nights of struggling to stay awake while reading banner tables, charting, analysis, running 8 projects at one go (how in the world did I do it, I have no idea), reporting for 6-country studies (never again), having the most insane fieldwork challenges, recruiting 70 interviewers over Christmas season..

I could never forget.. Co-moderating my first focus group and being extremely terrified not of the consumers that I was speaking to, but of the eyes and ears behind the one-way mirror. And now, after many sessions of watching others moderate and doing my own uncountable sessions, qualitative has grown to be my new love.

I don't know what's ahead of me in the coming year, but I know the one person I would like to lean on.

I dare not trust the sweetest frame

but wholly trust in Jesus' name

When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars, which you have set in place,

What is mankind that you are mindful of them,
human beings that you care for them?

Psalms 8:3-4

Still kinda chaotic. But thinking about how God knows me, and the world. It makes me :')

Almost a year on, the kind of things I pen on my Keep:

Shit Singaporeans say at the Great Wall of China:

Man (mumbling in Cantonese, then suddenly transit to English): OH S**T I haven't file my income tax yet!

---

Lady in red trench coat: The last time I came to the great wall, I wore heels!

Smart things Chinese kids say at the Great Wall of China:

妈： 我不能了...

孩 1：我们要坚持!!!!

---

孩 2: 他们说不到长城非好汉，那是错的。我说非去长城是笨蛋!

knowing thyself

the quantitative bounded my soul, and the qualitative freed it.

as innately one who rejoices in creative expression, i have been struggling to gain footing of my soul's desire at work.

after these 34 months, i don't know what took me so long, but:
- i find beauty in both quantitative and qualitative; numbers are so dreadful, but it allows me to see the bigger picture, while small samples set me worried about representation and biases, but yet it is through probing motivations that get me so high
- ultimately, i like working with mixed methodologies, but the qualitative is my core soul expression

my focus in the next year:
- more exposure to mixed methods and qual only projects, hopefully.
- still got to improve quant acumen and analytical skills - a course maybe?

conversations with myself

at the beginning of the year, i told myself that i would create opportunities for more me time.

seems like what i have been neglecting isn't really more me time, but more conversations with myself.

i once read somewhere that one can never be a balanced person without a balance of the public and private self. the private self is where you examine your whole being; these are the moments where you reflect upon your public self, and be brutally honest about the usually spontaneous and unconscious thoughts that have guided your actions in the day. it is not even time inbetween appointments or during travel where you think about the things to settle and what you want to acheive in the day, but a time of asking yourself the questions you don't want to be addressing only 30 years down the road when you are done with your career, or when you meet God.

nihon you are beautiful

oh the land of clean air, toilets bowls with butt warmers, umami, good-lookers, simple designs and the birth place of hiyao miyazaki, joe hisaishi, hana yori dango.

somehow, our paths refused to cross.

you flirted fleetly with me in 2008, twice. i was all ready to meet you in 2011, but alas, 11 march happened and you were devastated. i endured that 2 hr transit with you flirting again and it left me with the same fate.

on my 9th year dreaming of you, we met. but as quickly as the JR rail took us from tokyo to kyoto, those 6 days in december came and went. i left with thoughts of how even the smallest things like shredded cabbage tasted good in your company.

--

i know it's only been 2 months since we last met, but i've got my bags packed for this march. this time around, i'm bringing my parents to meet you!

go watch black panther!

lousy trailer showing all the action bits and didn't do justice to the storyline.

lhy got me hooked onto DC/Marvel films and we've been catching all of 'em but unlike the cliche wrecking up NYC/ some other city in the world the setting was unique and the themes covered were actually thought-provoking, somewhat social/political commentary and um, feel good. 

of course they had to cover themes like the almost overdone women empowerment (though the lead was male, the females seemed to be the wiser ones in the show, with men getting themselves into situations, only to be saved by women), black empowerment, prejudice, and shaking up of comparative politics/world dynamics a little.

plus point is a super good looking cast (mad love with Shuri's character).

everyone wants a piece of vibranium.

matthew 13

i will tell, a story of Your love.

 For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?

Mark 8:36