heh

home is where i get to crawl into the security of your embrace at the end of a long tiring day.

fixing that hole in my heart

weeks ago, i 'chanced' upon this sermon titled 'reigniting your passion for Christ'.

i put 'chanced' between parenthesis because God has this incredible knack of planting bits and pieces of information in my mind when i pray hard enough, or when He just chooses to.

this time round, visit "sermoncentral.com" was kept on loop in my mind, and this was the sermon that shouted out at me when i ended up doing so.

the sermon had a list of passion killers and the top on the list was:

"an unbalanced schedule"

ok thank you God for confirming to me that 2 am alarms to finish off my report, knocking off work at 6am, weekend and public holiday work fests are not normal.

on one hand i don't wanna be that stereotype of a millennial who quits at every road block.

but on the other hand, i question how this lifestyle is turning me into some one i no longer recognise.

the truth of the matter is, work has sucked my life dry of passion and love. my patience gets short, i am grumpy most of the time, i have no energy to spend time on my hobbies, i am too tired to read, i lose empathy for people.


this has got to stop, something's got to give.


--


i've got a million ideas running through my head now, that wanderlust, creative head of mine can't keep still with a list of boundless to dos and ideas to grow.

:'(

breathe

there were times these 2 weeks that i worked till i felt so repulsed, till i felt giddy with disgust, and so sick of settling things that had tumbled out of our control.

but reminded so much of God's love and sovereignty in these people:

seriously didn't feel like burning a weekday night and the whole of saturday serving for service, but i'm glad i hung on - it was where God refreshed me, where i found solace in His presence, and where the energy of the team so passionate in pleasing him made me remember things that were greater than myself.