Sponges

We assign value to the things that fall under the school of thought of which we've chosen to view the world through. It is imperative that we then also grow that view both horizontally and vertically.

And occassionally, when we chance upon a different other, we take on the lenses of some one else momentarily, and realise the myriad occurance in perceptions of the human condition, and give thanks that God made us heterogeneous.

At the end of the day, we still oscillate back to the same old school of thought, the one in which we have chosen to be us; that we have defined our identity with. But no one can deny that we've changed - if not transformed, but maybe just a little. That's the beauty of how human interactions allow cross disciplinary ideas to take root - the only way in which we can earn a fraction of how God sees the universe. (honestly, the only way in which humans can move beyond relying too much on a particular discipline to grow a particular aspect of society)

-----

Falling in love with magazine subscriptions on the kindle. It's amazing(pun) how fast a want translates to a have in a matter of seconds. Oh, but buy me a lifetime of subscriptions please.

1- Choice is an active sought after His will.

22 September 2013

"Where shall we go, to a land faraway?"

You hold the world in Your hand. A world of endless possibilities- and sometimes having too many choices gives one diminishing returns. Picking a country for STM is a very good example (in the literal sense). But at the same time, it feels like it all happened in a jiffy- going for missions festival and not knowing where to start(another story to tell in itself), but yet wanting it to be something of His will. 

中国新 got me a little more excited somehow. There was a trip (Xiamen) happening around the time HY and I were free. Given the period, it was a toss up between Cambodia (Crystal's LG was planning a trip) and China. I was rather glad that it got cut down to just these 2 Cs. Initially rather impartial, but somehow, praying more has had my heart drawn more towards China. Maybe because I was from a chinese school (sad experience there with the mother tongue then though), maybe because I did a short student exchange in China back in high school and thus feeling some sort of affinity, but maybe it was reactionary having watched an indie documentary entitled 班长 (detailing how values were socialised in kids at a young age, a thoroughly disgusting (and hopefully, larger than life) depiction of the breakdown of social values in the Chinese society), or maybe it was just because I'm Chinese afterall. I didn't really pray for a confirmation, but oscillated strangely to where my heart led me to.

Within 2 weeks, flights were booked, whatsapp group conversations ensued, efforts to get together began. 

A 4 day trip- What could we do in such a short time?

Age. Aged.

“Her delight in the smallest things was like that of a child. There were days when she ran in the 
garden, like a child of ten, after a butterfly or a dragon-fly. This courtesan who had cost more 
money in bouquets than would have kept a whole family in comfort, would sometimes sit on the 
grass for an hour, examining the simple flower whose name she bore.” 

― Alexandre Dumas-fils, La Dame aux Camélias

1700 days later, and I'm not sure where to find that part of me any longer- the urge to play a prank, wishful for a silly joke, the want to muse at life's perfection in its imperfections. I guess I still do so now, but with my mind wrapping a cruel sheet over the pure heart, trampling its innocence, muffling its ability to just appreciate the world as it is.

But oh, how the heart aches to find that space to breathe, and to be free once again.

God, would you help me through this?